I was going through a tough time in my senior year of college, when a dear friend handed me a book, and said:

“Here, read this. It’s short.”

The book she gave me was indeed short. I read it in about half an hour. I needed its lessons about self-acceptance. It also introduced me to the concepts of mindfulness and meditation.

Over the next 30+ years, I read more books, listened to talks, and even went to retreats. I’ve only recently kept a regular meditation practice, but any meditation helps me, even if I’m not consistent about it.

After a while, it seemed like everything was recommending mindfulness or meditation. I half expected to open the owner’s manual for my blender and see meditation instructions.

I don't think I've ever meditated on the beach. Photo by Chelsea Gates on Unsplash

I also started to see workplaces offering opportunities for wellness practices like yoga, meditation, and stress management. I like benefits that can support health and wellbeing.

But there was a disconnect that was jarring.

I’d see a cheerful email from HR promoting a new mindfulness benefit. Then I’d talk to peers who were dealing with unreasonable expectations and overwhelming workloads. Some were struggling to manage child care or elder care while commuting two hours or more each way to the office. Many had lost teammates to layoffs and lived in fear that they would be next. They were exhausted, and yet feeling pressure to spend their off-hours time learning new skills to try to stay afloat.

The wellness practices started to look like making bandages available while failing to prevent injury. Or like the message from the company was: “If you’re struggling to cope, that’s on you. But because we care, here’s a free meditation app.”

You know, my college friend who handed me that book so many years ago wasn’t the source of my stress. She had listened to me, and she understood what I needed. So the book was a genuine gesture of kindness and care. And it truly helped ease my suffering.

The disconnect I saw with the corporate wellness benefits: nobody was listening or understanding what people needed. A meditation app might still have helped in some ways, but it didn’t land as a gesture of care for me. And it wasn’t at all sufficient to address the suffering I was witnessing daily.

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Also, thanks to those of you who have been in touch to say that the newsletter is missed (and to see how I’m doing). Time just goes by so fast! I write a draft of a post and then before I know it, the week is over. Then in the next week, I’m inspired to start another post instead of finishing the one I had. I hope to get back to at least every other week soon!