Posted just now about writer’s checklists – so let’s post about the developer’s checklists here too!
As a developer, I maintained a checklist of troubleshooting tips.
I would have conversations like this:
Me: Any thoughts on what I could do next?
Colleague: Have you tried [something they also recommended last time]?
Me, embarrassed: Uh… no. I’ll try that. Writing that down this time! Thanks.
And I’d add that to my checklist.
For reasons unknown, developers assume that we are the last person in our organization who will ever encounter a specific problem.
We’re the last person our team will ever onboard, so we don’t need to document lessons learned during onboarding.
This error message won’t happen again, so there’s no need to note the steps we took to address it.
Nobody else will install or configure this product, so we won’t bother writing down the process we went through.
“I’m surely the last person to ever go through this process.” Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash
And then we’re surprised when three days or weeks or months later, the same situation has come up again and we’re struggling to remember what we did last time.
Last page list
I kept my troubleshooting checklist starting on the back page of my notebook so I could always find it in a hurry.
The specific items on the checklist will vary from person to person, but they might include:
When did this code work last? Did it ever work?
What changed between when it last worked and now?
Can I reproduce the problem in another environment? How about another branch of my code?
What if I back out my last change?
Have I tried clearing the browser cache? (Ugh. I always forget.)
Did I push the change to the environment where I’m expecting it?
Am I getting an error? Search for the exact text of the error in the code, in Slack, on the web…
Some of the best writing tips I learned were from a summer class I took as a teenager. I’m still adding to my writer’s checklists, decades later.
However, I have mostly kept these checklists in my head. Whenever I realize that I have documentation stored in my head, I want to write it down.
First of all, the information in your brain is not searchable! Make it useful to others, and write. Part of why I’m writing a book, after all!
And second, the brain is a much better processing unit than it is a storage unit. Get all that excess knowledge out of your head and onto a more reliable “external drive” (like paper). Then you can free up mental space for things you can’t just go look up.
Here’s my basic checklist:
What’s sillier than putting “make to-do list” on a to-do list? This. Photo by Jakub Żerdzicki on Unsplash
Vary sentence beginnings. “She did this. She saw that. She said something. She blah blah blah.” Change it up!
Similar: vary sentence structure. Subject-verb, subject-verb, subject-verb… gets boring after a while.
Break up long sentences. If you’ve got more than one and/or/but, start to get suspicious that a sentence is perhaps too long.
However, it’s trendy these days to write entirely in short, choppy sentences, or even sentence fragments. I’m not a fan. Again, vary that sentence structure.
Avoid the passive voice. I don’t try to eliminate it entirely, but I often like my writing better in the active voice.
Use tenses deliberately. I tend to switch between the present and the past tenses, unintentionally. But people do that naturally, and it can invite the reader to relive a specific moment with you. It’s only a problem if I don’t like what I wrote.
Drop extra words. Instead of: “That is one of those things that I find myself doing a lot.” Try: “I do that a lot.” The tipoff: a group of words such as this, that, what, which, something, or one, hanging out together in a sentence. “This is one of those things which…”
Watch out for weak words. “Very” and “really” are rarely doing me any favors. I use them, but sparingly.
Clarify “this.” I learned this tip recently. Even if it’s pretty clear what you mean by “that” or “these,” it can be even clearer if you just say it. “That guideline is so useful,” vs. “That is so useful.” Or, “I learned this tip recently,” instead of “I learned this recently.”
Instead of “you should,” try “I learned.” Rather than telling people what to take away from my writing, I find it more helpful to share my takeaways and let readers draw their own conclusions.
A bulleted list helps break up blocks of text.
Read it out loud
I often read my writing out loud. If I can’t bring myself to read out loud for some reason, I’m reading silently, but imagining how it sounds. I think of this as reading something to myself loudly. 🙂
Here’s what I’m listening for as I read out loud:
Words I’ve repeated. “Oops, I say ‘unintentionally’ twice in this sentence…”
Does it sound like me?
Do I get lost, or bored? If I do, my reader will.
Do I trip over my words or have to start over mid-sentence? Red flag. Look for grammar errors, stray words, sentences you can break up, or unnatural phrasing.
How are the pieces fitting together? Does the flow from one idea to another make sense?
What’s my tone? If I’ve veered off into “smug” or “judging” that’s a warning flag for me.
Am I repeating myself? Does it serve my purpose to do so, if I am?
Did I say something other than what I wrote? If so, did I do that because it sounds more natural the way I said it? For example, I wrote “I do use them.” But when I read it aloud, I said “I use them” instead. It sounded better shorter. I changed it.
If you’re struggling to read something you wrote, or if you read it and have the fleeting thought: “huh, I have no idea what I just said,” that’s your brain trying to tell you there’s a problem.
I’m sure there are others that I’ve forgotten to list here! I might edit this as I think of more.
Was this helpful to you? Did you pick up something new?
Beware of the scams targeting job seekers. I’d say “it’s a new low” for scammers to target people who are looking for work, but no, unfortunately… the scammers seem to reside at those depths.
Scammers who aren’t who they claim to be
Beware these tactics for scammers trying to mask their true identity.
Text-only interviews (no video call).
AI-generated video. Some sophisticated scammers are using AI to make them look like someone they’re not.
LinkedIn profiles or other online content may be convincing fakes. Or hacked.
Scammers impersonating legitimate people. The name on the email is a real recruiter, but the actual sender is a scammer pretending to be the recruiter.
Photo from Getty Images on Unsplash.
Lookalike URLs, e.g., if the real site is companyname dot com, but the email is from companynameinc dot com.
Spoofed email.
Entirely fake companies.
Scammers after a job seeker’s money
Don’t share your bank account information until you’re hired at a company you’re 100% sure is legitimate and you’re ready to get that paycheck by direct deposit! Even something that seems like it couldn’t be a scam, like accepting a check from the company as payment for something, has the potential to be a problem.
Watch out for these scams:
Requests for payment or for your banking info, e.g. to cover “fees.” This includes payment for background checks or credit reports.
Exclusive paid content. Would you pay extra to have the inside scoop on how to get hired at Google? That exclusive content may not be anything other than publicly shared information.
Money launderers. Don’t take any jobs handling money for others unless you’re completely sure of their legitimacy. Scammers may be criminals trying to hide the trail of money they’ve stolen.
Being sent a check e.g., for equipment or training. Even after you’ve been “hired”.
You buy a laptop, they send you a check for the amount, you send them the laptop “to be configured,” the check bounces and they disappear.
They “overpay” you and ask you to send some back. You send it back, but then their check bounces.
Wait, wouldn’t it be okay to accept a check and only act on it after it clears? No, a cleared check isn’t proof that it hasn’t bounced. From the FTC site on fake check scams:
By law, banks have to make deposited funds available quickly. Even if you see the funds in your account, that doesn’t mean it’s a good check. Fake checks can take weeks to be discovered and untangled. By that time, the scammer has any money you sent, and you’re stuck paying the money back to the bank.
Other red flags
Sharing your personal information too early in the process (e.g., you shouldn’t need to share a social security number to start the conversation)
Anything unusual they ask you to run on your own machine: custom software, a project with a github repository. These can be malware designed to steal your personal information.
Job offers for roles you didn’t apply for.
Salaries much better than you’d expect for the position.
Be suspicious if you’re getting a lot of pressure from the company to do things quickly. They may be trying to keep you from doing proper research.
Trust your intuition if something feels “off” or seems too good to be true.
How to protect yourself
As a job seeker, what can you do to protect yourself from scams?
If this isn’t a company you’re familiar with, see what you can learn about them. Sites like LinkedIn and Glassdoor might help, but they aren’t alone proof of a legitimate company.
You could also ask friends if they are familiar with the company, or see if you have any second-degree contacts there on LinkedIn.
Look for the company name + “scam” or “complaint” online.
Verify via the company’s real website. Reach out to them rather than relying only on contact information given to you.
When possible, meet someone in person.
I’ve heard that, if you suspect AI-generated video, you can ask the person to put their hand in front of their face. Apparently, AI has a hard time handling that. I heard a story of one sketchy interviewer who refused to do this.
“I don’t know about this… put your paw in front of your face?” Photo from Getty Images on Unsplash.
Things you can do if scammed
What if a scammer contacted you? What if things went too far before you realized something was amiss?
Freeze your account at all three major credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion). Freezing is free.
Change your banking info, if you’ve given it out.
If the scammer impersonated a real company, contact them via their website to report it.
I try to avoid posting about AI, but today I found myself wondering: did I just chat with an AI?
Trying to decide which of several products to purchase online, I used the company’s website chatbot, which transferred me to “Vanessa” for further assistance.
Was Vanessa real? I found myself evaluating every line.
The overly-enthusiastic and strangely polished parts? That’s probably AI.
But what about…
The natural-sounding, competent, useful responses?
The grammatical errors?
The inability to remember bits of context from earlier in the conversation?
Delays where the “agent is typing” and I’m waiting…
…but then I get an “are you still there?” a minute later while I’m typing?
The occasional complete nonsense, sort of an on-topic word salad?
What’s wild to me is that I have experienced all of those things in the days before AI chat, when you could be reasonably certain you were talking to a human. So, on one hand, any of these could be a human behind the wheel.
As if AI chatbots had a physical incarnation with a hand
But then again, maybe AI would say: “How is you’re day so far?” If so, was the grammar error deliberately inserted, to make it sound more human? Or did AI just learn from a lot of grammatically incorrect training data?
Humans of yore
Once upon a time, you chatted (phone or text) with a human. They either knew how to help, or they would have you hold while they talked to someone else on your behalf. You could picture someone sitting in an office somewhere, spinning their office chair around to ask the senior person at the cubicle behind them.
Later, you chatted with a human who generally didn’t know how to help, but who could follow a flowchart of common questions. I worked in tech support, I get it. 90% of the calls are answered by the flowchart.
Unfortunately, those people would often not recognize when you were off the flowchart. I might say “step 3 of your instructions refers to a button that doesn’t exist,” and they’d just send me the link to the same instructions I was already following.
When they ran out of flowchart, they’d send you to tier 2. But even the flowchart person was still someone sitting in an office somewhere.
They might be following a script. But when it said “Agent is typing…” on the screen, they were at least assembling a reply from various bits of canned text with a little original text thrown in.
Where’s my person?
It was never clear to me how much “Vanessa” was controlled by a human operator. If at all.
I hope for the sake of that company that there was at least some human oversight to prevent inappropriate responses.
But, at best, I imagined someone monitoring multiple chats to make sure the AI responses weren’t going off the rails. Would they even need to know the product? Maybe their software could be doing some realtime sentiment rating to highlight if the user is getting frustrated.
The contrast was striking when, later in the day, I had a chat with “Julian” from Microsoft’s online sales chat feature. Aside from one overly enthusiastic greeting (on the order of “It’s an absolute delight to assist you today! How can I help you make your business more successful?”) the conversation… just felt normal.
The wording and grammar weren’t perfect. But they didn’t seem unprofessional, they just seemed human.
Microsoft likely has access to the best AI a company can get. If I had to pick a company that might have AI so good they could fake me out, they’d certainly be on my list of candidates.
But I feel like Vanessa’s response to “I honestly could not tell if I was talking to a real person or an AI” might have been something more… AI-sounding.
What would an AI say if asked that, anyway?
I couldn’t get claude.ai to be deceptive about it, even hypothetically. But I did get it to tell me what a human could say to reassure. I wanted an AI-generated example to contrast with Julian’s response above.
“Ha, I get that question sometimes! I do use assistance with my writing to make sure I’m being as helpful as possible, but there’s definitely a human behind these messages.”
Well done, Claude. No need to escalate to tier 2 support.
I’ve been listening to books on storytelling recently, including three I recommend highly.
Book 1: How to Tell a Story
First: How to Tell a Story is by the team from the Moth Radio Hour. Seek that show out, if you’re not familiar with it. Among the takeaways… strong stories have:
A change or transformation. Show how the events of the story changed things, changed you.
Stakes. Why should the listener care.
A strong start and ending. No “so, yeah” at the beginning. No “uh, well, that’s it I guess” at the end.
And when telling a story on stage, look for the sweet spot between memorizing and improvising. Know your story arc, what details you want to include or leave out, where you want to speed up or slow down.
But memorize only the opening and ending. Beyond that, memorizing can make you sound unnatural. And if you lose your place in something you memorized word for word, recovering is hard.
Second, Stories that Stick, by Kindra Hall, provides a framework for how to approach storytelling. Her tips:
have a recognizable character,
use vivid and relatable details to connect to your audience,
bring in genuine emotion,
and identify a turning point (the change or transformation mentioned above)
Stories that Stick then explains how most businesses have four main stories to tell: the value story (what’s the value of the product), the founder’s story (how did it all start), the purpose story (vision and values), and the customer story (testimonials). Each one serves different purposes.
Given how good those two books were, did I really need another five-star book about storytelling?
Yes, yes I did.
I found that the lessons from each book complement the lessons from the others. Combined, they made a powerful course in storytelling. And it sure doesn’t hurt that all three books feature engaging stories as examples.
But the third book I read, Storyworthy, by Matthew Dicks, might be my favorite.
Even better: itgave me a rule of thumb that I’m already putting into practice. (I thought I was already following it. I wasn’t.)
Book 3: Storyworthy
So many of us were taught to think of an academic style as “good writing.” It’s how we learned to write essays for school.
Problem is, it can be a little boring.
In the Book Academy, Luvvie Ajayi Jones encouraged students to ditch the scholarly tone. “Write like you talk,” Luvvie said.
And sure enough, whenever someone set aside their fancy word choices and just wrote as if they were speaking, their writing came alive.
I already have a pretty conversational style of writing, so I thought I had this covered. But, in Storyworthy, Matthew Dicks takes this a step further. He calls it the “dinner test.”
With the dinner test, you’re not just writing like you talk. You’re telling your story the way you’d tell it around the dinner table with friends.
So now, as I write, I keep going back to imagine saying all this to you. Does it sound like something I’d say? I’m surprised by how often the answer is no.
Storyworthy recommends another practice I plan to adopt. The author calls it “homework for life.”
Homework for life consists of pausing at the end of each day for ten minutes to identify any “story worthy” moments that happened during the day. Just jot down enough to remember what the story is. You can also make a note of anything that happened at another time but which you happened to remember in that moment.
This practice can build a list of stories worth telling, which is great. But even more than that, it can get you to pay more attention to small moments in your life that might be worth remembering.
Matthew Dicks suggests that since he’s been practicing this habit, he’s had a sense of life not passing him by so quickly. That alone makes it a worthwhile practice for me, even if I never use the resulting list as a source for stories.
Have you read any of these books about storytelling? Are you incorporating storytelling into your work or your life? What have you found useful when crafting your stories?
As I mentioned recently in my post about pressure and resistance, I’ve had a hard time getting started lately. I’ll sit down to work, and then I get distracted. At the end of the day, I’ve accomplished nothing on my to do list.
I feel like an engine that won’t “catch.” Turn the key, it makes the right sounds to indicate that the engine is surely starting. But as soon as you stop turning the key… silence.
Another piece of the resistance, in addition to rebelling against the pressure: I fear doing it wrong or not being able to finish.
I dread writing for a while on a blog post and then losing enthusiasm and giving up.
I’ll think about a section of my book proposal but then worry that it won’t go well or I won’t be able to complete it.
You know what guarantees that I will fail? Not starting.
It makes no sense. Not starting feels safer, even though it guarantees the outcome I don’t want. Why should it feel safer?
And yet, I’ve spent several days this month with the engine turning over but not catching.
Fortunately, yesterday was a good day. Got a (fairly long!) newsletter email written. Yay! And today has been good so far too. Taking the pressure off is helping.
Blank is easy, but not useful
I had to laugh when I saw this. Here are the search engine optimization (SEO) ratings from Yoast for a completely blank blog post:
I had to laugh. That post (or book!) you never write? Sure, as a blank page, it might be incredibly easy to read. And, not having any words, it is unlikely to offend.
But it’s not exactly going to be engaging to your readers. With driving, to get somewhere, you have to actually start the engine. In order to connect through the written word, you must start writing.
Okaaay, I guess the pressure I put on myself is a known fact here in our house. Not just for work or writing, I mean for everything. Even on the weekends, lately, I feel pressured to make the best use of my time, get things done that aren’t work-related.
Sheesh, I just started taking a workshop to improve the quality of my sleep. And I can already feel myself ramping up to put pressure on myself to sleep better.
As if that will help.
Resistance is arising
Resistance is coming up a lot for me lately. I sit down in the morning on a weekday, intending to write.
Instead, my motivation to write goes completely out the window. The last thing I want to do is write.
So instead, I listen to an audio book. Or I draw. Or I get sidetracked by something shiny. Anything but writing. Anything that isn’t on my giant to-do list.
Motivation then returns sometime later, when I’m planning to do something else. For example, it might show up after 8 pm on a Monday night, when I really ought to be doing some of those getting-ready-for-sleep practices. [looking at clock warily]
Well, what’s an efficient, organized, driven person to do when faced with this unwillingness to just get to work already? Clearly I should figure out what’s blocking me and put even more pressure on myself to get past the block.
No. Turning up the pressure when I’m not getting stuff done sounds like it should work. But it absolutely doesn’t.
Why doesn’t pressure overcome resistance?
When I turn up the pressure, all I’m doing is pressing against the resistance that has come up. And when that resistance encounters pressure, does the pressure overcome the resistance? Does it just decide that my motivated self should prevail and yield?
Of course not. Instead, the resistance just increases. It’s getting pushed more, so it pushes back more.
The resistance is arising because the pressure is too much.
How do I know? Because in moments like this, when there’s no pressure to write, the words just flow.
What helps, then?
I’m not sure what will help, honestly. But it isn’t turning up the pressure.
I’m thinking self-compassion is probably a good start.
Setting smaller goals for the day.
Acknowledging the things I’m getting done that aren’t writing.
After all, I didn’t quit my job only to write a book. I also intend to use the time to focus on my health and wellbeing: cooking more meals at home, getting outside for walks regularly, clearing my space of clutter, managing stress, and yes, sleeping better.
I’m definitely making progress in those areas.
Let’s see if taking some of the pressure off helps me return to the joy of writing, rather than pushing myself into the chore of writing.
People say that networking is important. Does this mean you should attend networking events?
I say no.
Not that these events are completely useless, but I think there are better ways of building your network.
Granted, it’s possible that I’ve just been attending the wrong networking events. For example, an image search is giving me stuff like this:
Getty images on Unsplash
These people have wine. This is clearly more upscale than most networking events I’ve attended.
Portrait of a networking event
For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure, or if it’s been a while, allow me to illustrate. Here’s how networking events have been for me:
Some organization hosts an event, and you sign up. Regardless of what time the event is, it always intersects with your dinner time. Too early to eat before, too late to eat after.
The event is in the city. Public transit will force you to arrive either awkwardly early or embarrassingly late. Or, you drive, parking next to a tow zone that probably doesn’t include your car. Fingers crossed.
You find the building and follow a sign. It does look like the photo above. There’s wine, and you see a beautiful hot buffet. Sadly, this is not your event.
Eventually you find your space. If you’re early, the organizers are still setting up, and nobody will arrive until after event start time. However, if you’re late, the event will start on time and you’ll walk into a crowd already engaged in conversations.
Either way, there’s food, but it’s definitely not dinner.
Like this, but with a paper plate and no nice-looking dish of hummus. Monica Grabkowska for Unsplash. Unsplash doesn’t seem to do unappetizing pictures of veggies and dip.
You grab a soda and look around. Perhaps there is a speaker, a presentation, or a panel discussion. Maybe there are icebreaker games. Both of these things are useful, as we’ll see shortly, so don’t tune them out.
The dreaded small talk
You “mingle,” going outside your comfort zone to introduce yourself to strangers. Small talk of the smallest possible variety ensues. You’re determined to remember people’s names and interests, a noble and unattainable goal.
If you’re lucky, the speakers or icebreakers can help you start a conversation. If not, here’s a typical conversation:
“So, did you enjoy the presentation?”
“Yeah, I thought it was interesting.”
You each take a sip of your soda, trying to think something, anything, interesting to say next, but your minds go blank.
“What do you do with your time?” you ask in a way that you hope is still welcoming if the person is not working.
“I work as a [job you’re not familiar with] at [company you’ve never heard of].”
As a charming and engaging conversationalist, you think of the perfect response to turn this into an interesting conversation.
But you think of that on your way home. In the moment, you say:
“Oh. That sounds nice.”
You both stare at your half-eaten paper plates of food.
“Hey, I’m gonna grab another soda, it was nice meeting you.”
Whew, an exit.
Who do networking events work for?
Nobody seems to want to be there, with two exceptions:
The event hosts
Friendly and chatty, the event hosts will make you feel welcome for about two minutes before they are called away to set up a microphone or replenish the cookies.
That one person
There always seems to be one slightly creepy person who will corner you and talk for 20 minutes about something you can’t follow. You ask them what they thought of the speaker, whose talk was about web design, and they say something like:
“I thought it was interesting but using excessively flat AI versus potential with code barriers isn’t effective in a strategic environment unless you have strong data prevention, right?”
… Uh. What? None of that makes any sense. Did they watch the same presenter you did? Asking questions only makes this person more confusing.
After a while it sounds like they are either trying to prove that they are smarter than you are or they are gearing up to ask you for something that will make you uncomfortable, like a job recommendation, a date, or an investment in their sketchy startup. Fortunately, someone else finally joins the conversation, (“hey, how’s it going? what’d you think of the speaker?”) which will allow you to make an escape while the person starts talking about “excessively flat AI” again. ???
At the end, you’ll feel a little queasy from having pushed yourself to be social with strangers, fretting about the commute home, and eating a dinner of pale raw veggies and dip, pepper jack cheese cubes, and mediocre cookies.
And you’ll have “met” a few people who, regardless of whether you connect with them on social media or not, you’ll be unlikely to ever see again.
Let’s ditch these events
I mean… I guess a networking event like this does have its benefits:
The speakers might be interesting.
You could make a contact. I made a contact once. I told a speaker that I enjoyed her talk. We didn’t keep in touch. But we later wound up working at the same company, and she somehow remembered me.
You get practice making (and escaping) conversation with strangers in awkward situations, which will come in handy at friends’ weddings, the neighbor’s cookout, etc.
All the free celery and veggie dip you can eat.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with attending these events. Go if the topic or the organization interests you.
But this isn’t your best bet for building your network.
How to do networking better
I could write a whole blog post about each of these…
Reach out to colleagues whose work intersects with yours. See how you can help. Some people reading know that I do this, because I met you this way 🙂
Find people whose work interests you. Do you have questions for them that you can’t just answer with a quick web search?
Work on something together. Volunteering, intramural sports, organizing an event, working on a committee… Something where you talk to each other, not just sit next to each other.
Help others. Answer questions, or if you don’t know the answer, see what you can do to help. Even if you can’t help and the other person is still stuck, at least they aren’t stuck and alone.
Join the conversation. Do you read social media or blogs of people in your field, especially people who have an audience small enough that real conversations can happen? Respond to someone whose comments got you thinking. Add something new to the conversation, don’t just say “great post!”
Wait, this isn’t networking
“But Leaf, this isn’t networking. This is like… meeting people, getting to know them.”
Exactly.
When people say “networking,” often the first thing that comes to mind is “schmoozing” with people you hardly know. You’re not talking to them because you actually care. You want them to do something for you (like help you find a new job). Or they want you to do something for them, and you haven’t yet escaped.
Of course you don’t want to do that. It feels bad for a reason! It’s icky! Don’t do it!
So forget about networking. Put yourself in situations where you are likely to cross paths with other interesting people. Talk to them, find out what’s on their minds, what their goals are, what’s important to them.
You don’t have to talk to a lot of them. Meeting one or two people who you keep in touch with beats meeting a dozen people who you’ll never encounter again.
Not everyone you meet will click with you, and that’s okay. Don’t take it personally. Maybe they’re having a bad day, are tired or distracted, or had only celery and baked goods for dinner and don’t feel so good. No need to take the disinterest of strangers as feedback for you. (If you want feedback, ask a trusted friend.)
Allow people who do seem to respond well to also see a little of who you are and what’s important to you.
And if you have people who you crossed paths with before and you would like to stay connected, reach out now and then. Send a note, “hey, this article reminded me of you,” or “I was just thinking about our conversation, how is your project going?”
I was told once that I “should feel empowered” to influence strategy, something I had been blocked from doing in multiple ways.
This was not welcome news.
Feel empowered!
I could feel empowered all I wanted, but until I actually had the power, it wasn’t going to help. I also pointed out that it seemed like a setup to pin blame on me for not doing something I wasn’t actually allowed to do.
This wasn’t a matter of my having low self-esteem or a flawed sense of my own abilities. I had been learning the hard way in the months before this feedback that I had in fact vastly overestimated the power that my role held.
I had confidence in my abilities. The barriers to my getting things done weren’t in my mindset.
Thinking about it now, if I had actually felt empowered and tried to influence strategy any more than I did already, it would have brought me criticism for stepping out of my lane.
I’ve read suggestions for managers about empowering their teams. But if people actually have the power they need to get their jobs done, then they don’t need someone else “empowering” them.
And if your people don’t have the power they need, simply telling them to feel empowered doesn’t change that.
It may even be harmful. You might just be informing them that, if they don’t do the work they don’t have the power to do, you’ll blame them.
Instead, figure out what power that person needs, and make sure that’s inherent in their role.
How do we keep each day from blending in with all the others? Why does it seem like time passes by so quickly?
It was beautiful out this morning. I drove my husband to his eye exam, and while I was waiting, I found a cafe nearby with outdoor seating in the shade. Perfect. Chai and pastries acquired, I set up my laptop at a tiny table on the patio.
I nibbled on a tomato, mozzarella, and basil bialy and eavesdropped on a pair of cyclists at the next table over.
“Is that your racing bike?”
“Yeah, I race with that.”
“Why’d you take your racing bike for a ride with me??”
That’s when I noticed that I was being watched. She was staring at me from surprisingly close by on the sidewalk. She moved between me and my cafe neighbors’ bikes. I wondered if she might take a seat at my table.
For a split second, I worried that she might make a grab at my bag of pastries. Unlikely, of course, as she was hardly the size of a pastry herself.
I put the rest of the bialy back in the bag and took out the lemon poppy seed scone to nibble on next. “I see you,” I said to the curious sparrow, as a warning. Just in case she got any ideas. I folded the top of the bag of pastries a little more.
I’ve heard that seagulls have been known to take food right from people. Not just “hop up to the beach blanket and grab a cookie while you’re not looking.” Mr. or Ms. Steal-Your-Fries will saunter across the picnic table and pull that half a sandwich right out of your hand.
Sheesh. I have never had this happen to me. I hope it remains the stuff of legend.
But I can attest that seagulls are capable of grabbing something that size. While walking in Boston early one morning, I did a double-take when I saw a seagull fly past me with a huge bagel in its beak. A minute later, I spotted a forlorn bag of at least a dozen bagels, sitting by the sidewalk on Atlantic Ave, torn open. (The seagull may have been thinking “Best. Day. Ever,” but unfortunately bread is not good for birds. Also, clearly the bag of bagels didn’t make it to its destination, but why not? What happened here…)
House sparrows are much smaller than seagulls, though. Taking on humans directly would be daunting, and it’s a lot harder to fly off with something twice their size. So instead, they hop around by the cafe tables, hoping we’ll drop a crumb they can scavenge.
A few minutes later I saw another house sparrow — a male, they look like they have a little beard — doing the same thing. There was a little flock of tiny winged cafe regulars, patrolling the grounds, keeping an eye on the humans in case we got careless with our baked goods.
“Fruit and seed? Surely that lemon poppy scone is for me.” Photo by Maria Hossmar on Unsplash
Capturing little moments, like being spied on by a posse of sparrows on a cafe patio, or watching a seagull fly through Boston with a bagel, may be part of how we keep life from passing us by.
Earlier in my adult life, I believed that the sense of time going faster had to do with time being perceived as a portion of one’s life. When you’re only six years old, and maybe you only remember as far back as age four, any given summer is something like an eighth of your whole life. It’s huge! But as you get older, it’s a smaller percentage of your experience.
Now I’m not so sure that’s right. It may be more of a function of where we place our attention. If we’re doing the same things, day in and day out, no moments stand out in our memories. I was happy to take my husband to his appointment in part because it involved going somewhere different from my usual places. There was potential in it for a moment that would stand out.
And capturing those moments helps, too. We might capture them in words, as I do here; in drawings, as Nishant Jain does with Sneaky Art; in videos, like Cesar Kuriyama does in One second every day; or in other ways, maybe photos or music.
My husband and I started a habit of writing down when we make a memory, or when something makes us laugh. We note it on a slip of paper and put it in a jar. At the start of a new year, we can review the past year. I’m holding onto them, so we can review previous years too.
The book Storyworthy, by Matthew Dicks, recommends a practice he calls “homework for life.” At the end of each day, write down any stories you remember from your day, as well as any other stories that come to mind. Not the whole story, just a few words to help you remember it. “Early morning seagull with giant bagel,” perhaps.
He says that doing this has slowed down his life so that not everything goes by in a blur, with all the days blending together. I’d like to try this as a habit and see if it does the same for me.
And that’s my wish for you, and for me: may our lives not go by in a blur. That and not getting our food stolen by birds.
